La Mer

9:54 pm. The Marist Library.

So, first and foremost, I apologize because it’s been a while since my last blog post. It was Easter, life got busy… you know how it goes. However, it’s precisely Easter that I’d like to talk about. I was lucky enough to be able to go out to my grandmother’s house on Long Island and spend the holiday near the beach. It was lovely to spend time with some of my family, my best friend and to be near the ocean. I don’t know if this is true for everyone but life has always seemed simpler to me when I stand next to the ocean. The vastness stretches out before me, the sand is soft beneath my feet, and there’s nothing but salty air and sky. Whether deeply happy, sad or confused, I’ve always found clarity by the water. I don’t necessarily find answers but I can always count on a few deep breaths of fresh air. I think about how waves have crashed on that beach for thousands of years, and no matter what happens to me, the waves will continue to roll up on that shore without ceasing. It’s all very poetic.

This was a different Easter from the past few years. It was quiet. I was asking myself many of life’s big questions, and as of late I have few of life’s big answers. We hunted for eggs and ate pastel colored candies as per usual but that was the stretch of the Easter festivities. Around 10:45am I threw on some running clothes and went for a jog by the bay. About half a mile down this particular beach I reached a familiar estuary. I remembered floating down its stream as a child only to get spit out where the freshwater brook met the saltwater bay, I remembered collecting shells and sea glass and I just took a break from my run for a few minutes and knelt down on the sand. No answers. Just a few deep breaths.

We all have our oceans. Our places of clarity. Some people find it in the woods, some at the edge of a desert landscape, and some on the rooftop of a skyscraper. Often what we need isn’t answers, but space to breathe.

I guess that’s all I have to offer this week. Maybe there are a few of you out there finding yourselves in the midst of some crazy living. Maybe you are boundlessly happy. Maybe you are hopelessly confused. Anyplace you find yourself – I have no answers for you. I don’t even know that I could offer some grand life lesson. In fact, I’m sure I can’t. I do know, however, that I often undervalue that ocean. That place of clarity, and I do mean the actual physical place. I neglect it sometimes. I take it for granted. I stay away too long. All I can say is this, I really needed that ocean. And if you need it too, I urge you to find it. To breathe. We may never get answers. We may never figure it all out. When it’s all said and done though, the waves will still roll up on that shore without ceasing.