A Return to Normalcy

My Apartment in Poughkeepsie. 2:03AM.

            Ever since returning from Italy I’ve felt the very real void that was once filled with Sunday afternoon latte drinking and blog writing. As nice as it was, I knew it would end at some point and I was prepared for that. However, I was not prepared for the loss I would feel leaving my travel blog behind. I still have thoughts to share. I still have feelings to process. So, even though the lattes here pale in comparison to the ones in Italy, I guess I’ll just have to keep on writing. I can’t promise my life here in Poughkeepsie will be nearly as exciting as it was gallivanting around Europe but as long as there are lessons to be learned I’ll be writing about them and as long as there are thoughts to share…I’ll share.

            The truth is they tell you very little as to how you will react when you come back from being abroad. Certainly, it has been a whirlwind experience for me. I never anticipated the deep affect this experience would have on me, my whole outlook changed. Mid fall semester I found myself at a crossroads, a piazza if you will, and I dared to step forward, to take a new road. Or at least I thought it was that way.

            I don’t quite know that life works this way. Coming home brings a whole slew of new decisions to make, it’s like driving on a highway and there’s a new exit road with a million possibilities every five minutes that you have to choose whether or not to take. It gets exhausting. I’m guessing that this is the process of figuring out how deeply you want the experience of being abroad to affect the experience of the rest of your life. It’s tough work. Which relationships, habits, preferences etc. do you choose to maintain? Which do you let go? How much are you willing to let go? How hard are you willing to work? These are all questions I’m asking myself on a daily basis and that doesn’t even cover the issue of holding on to the experiences of Italy in a meaningful way. How do you keep those lessons close to your heart?

            Even after all of that, if I could possibly sort out this plethora of questions, I realize something that I imagine I could only come to in exactly the time and space that I did – this process, it never ends. This is the cycle of having life experiences and then moving forward while at the same time holding on to what you learn in the process. It never ends.  So that’s where I’m at this week. These are the pervasive thoughts and I guess it’s exactly the place I have to be.